Tuesday, May 02, 2006

I need an attitude adjustment today. I have to understand that I cannot control what others do, but I can control how I react. I'm a touch worried about myself as I have never gotten this far with my anger before. I am far beyond sitting in the corner screaming the "f" word. I feel quiet calm & I am afraid I am internalizing too much anger. On the other hand, perhaps I am letting it go in a healthy manner. I am just so angry at my boss.

Saturday I took Scott and Sarah to the bus station at South Bend airport. I did a drop and run so that they wouldn't see me crying. They are so happy & I think things will turn out fine for them in the end.

Sunday I did indeed skip church & Clarissa, Cheri, Cheri's friend Kim and Kim's friend Easter & I went to Notre Dame and ran the "Biolojog...1st annual race"

There were less than 100 people there & a good deal of them didn't finish. It was a fund raiser for the Humane Society & probably 15 or so people ran with dogs. I only saw one of them finish.

It was extremely disorganized, started 45 minutes late & had alot of students helping who would have rather been in bed. It was a ton of fun though. I now see that I have alot of work cut out for me before Sunburst.

I settled in between two groups of girls & the ones behind me (wearing Notre Dame God Country sweats) were literally on my heels the entire 1st mile or so. I slowed down so that they had to go around & then they played this game where they would walk until i caught up to them and then sprint. At about the last 1/2 mile one of them made the mistake of letting me pass her before she started running again & she was quite ticked off when I ended up beating her. It gave me alot of incentive to speed up and the look on her face at the end was priceless. My time was 32:18, I think...they didnt tell me an official time and it isn't posted. My time at Thanksgiving was 31:54 and I was hoping to beat it, but I don't feel too bad because I ran out of my way on this course at least once due to insufficient directions.

1 Comments:

At 2:52 PM, Blogger Danielle said...

Good for you on the race, even in the bad conditions of disorganization, even if you didn't make your goal, you ran and it was good...I still think God means for you to be outside enjoying the days that are mild, you can go to church all winter right??

Anger at your boss...wow, don't internalize. Do whatever you have to to get it out, but it's bad to keep things bottled up. I know when I'm mad, it's hard for me sometimes to really deal, but if nothing else, trying writing out your feelings, you can either post them here and let people commiserate, or just write it, read it, then tear it up and burn it...might help get it out. Or, go on a run and have the conversation with your boss that you want but might not be able to say, have his part of the conversation too...I've done this numerous times and it has helped me forget and leave behind that anger at that other person and feel better. Hope it all works out!! Feel free to call and vent anytime!

 

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